hopefully I see a shooting star so all my hopes come true.

Picked up the fam from the airport tonight. Did 12 miles around the arrival pick-up area. North-side, south-side, round and round, I was dying to make a left hand turn by the time they came out. I'm happy they're home, but at the same time disappointed that I need them to be here. A week without them I thought would be fun and relaxing turned into overwhelming and fearful. I forget if I've fed the animals so I feed them again or I don;t then they start barking or meowing and remind me. I forget to feed myself, Adderal helps with that I rarely get hungry, even when I do I'm busy doing something else and think I'll do it in a few and by then I'm not hungry anymore. I forget if I watered the plants yesterday, today, what day is today, monday? How often am I supposed to water them again? When does the trash get picked up? The mail heh I checked it twice the whole week. It just didn't occur to me to check it. I have 6 projects started and none finished. My memory sucks already and I'm sure the meds add to that problem. I'm scared I have Alzheimer's already. I swear to god I 95% of the time park in the same spots at the few rare places I go by myself because if I don't I'll be walking around the parking lot like a jackass for 20 minutes trying to find my car. I've tried little reminder book things, I either don't remember to fill it out, look at it, or I lose it. My meds sit on the desk 6 inches from the monitor because otherwise I'd forget them and the night ones I still forget if I'm not sitting here looking at them when I'm ready to go to sleep. Then I'll take them and sit here and wonder did I take them or did I just go get a drink of water? I take the wrong ones sometimes cuz I'm oblivious to which bottle says what or I'm not paying attention. The scariest thing is when I forgot which ones I am supposed to take -day,night,yellow,blue and white? Luckily that has only happened a few times and was when I was on really bad meds. Not that my family tells me to do these things, but they remind me they need done in different ways. My mom leaving for work at night=oh, it's night time I should take meds. My bros eating dinner or asking me if I'm gonna cook tonight= oh yah, theres this thing called food that your supposed to eat it three times a day. I wanna be on my own so bad, maybe this week was just a fluke that it was so hard. My lizard died kinda set my head off track a little. Therapy was hard tuesday, and wednesday and Dad's was tough wednesday and Sunday so..yah..hopefully it was all just a fluke and I was just a little stressed and I'll be able to manage on my own perfectly fine. hopefully..very hopefully : /

I'm starting to get scared a burn on my arm is getting infected. It's red above it about an inch and a half and below about an inch and is yellow if I have it covered for any length of time. I dunno if this is normal since I've never had to cover a burn before. I keep hoping I'm gonna wake up the next day and the redness and pain will be gone. :: crossing my fingers hopefully..

4 am, need to be up in 6 hours for therapy and oh yippy yay the psychiatrist, oodles of fun all in one day! Hopefully everything will go good.