i go to sleep wanting to die
i wake up wanting to die
i spend all day on the computer trying to use what little is left of my brain and can't
i drive an hour to go meet people at a bar, go inside, feel like a social retard, and walk back out
i head back home and keep glancing at the gun in the passenger seat
i pull over, cock it, and sit with it in my lap until interrupted by security telling me to leave
i talk to someone i care alot about and feel like shit that im telling her theres anything wrong
i drive the long way home crying and switching between holding the gun and holding my phone
i sneak inside with the gun, put it under the bed, take meds, & blog this shit...
this is my life