depression sucks
I miss myself..
I'm actually getting to the point where I'm seriously debating going in-patient. That's what everyone is recommending and with my last few attempts at "clearing my head" not helping at all; I don't know what to do anymore. My mom is even saying maybe I should go when before she had always said no, no, no, it only made you worse last time.
I just keep hoping it will go away..that something will just snap in my head and I'll be ok, that the med combo will kick in all of a sudden. Even though logically I know that I've been on this med combo for at least 3 months and if it hasn't made it better yet, it's not going to. Just been slowly getting worse and worse. Now at the point where I look at suicide as a good option I'm scared. Waking up and having it be on my mind and it sits there all day, voices throwing their two cents in telling me to do it and how I should..they're always so helpful. =
The doctor says med-wise he is out of ideas and that hopefully with therapy and just getting used to how life is now that I'll hopefully be able to go back to work and be self-sufficient again. Hmm...I've heard voices and had mood problems since I was in 2nd-3rd grade and I never got "used to how life is now". Makes me think whats the point? and oh yes, one of my favorite movie quotes pops in my head. "...is this really as good as it gets?"
I'm actually getting to the point where I'm seriously debating going in-patient. That's what everyone is recommending and with my last few attempts at "clearing my head" not helping at all; I don't know what to do anymore. My mom is even saying maybe I should go when before she had always said no, no, no, it only made you worse last time.
I just keep hoping it will go away..that something will just snap in my head and I'll be ok, that the med combo will kick in all of a sudden. Even though logically I know that I've been on this med combo for at least 3 months and if it hasn't made it better yet, it's not going to. Just been slowly getting worse and worse. Now at the point where I look at suicide as a good option I'm scared. Waking up and having it be on my mind and it sits there all day, voices throwing their two cents in telling me to do it and how I should..they're always so helpful. =
The doctor says med-wise he is out of ideas and that hopefully with therapy and just getting used to how life is now that I'll hopefully be able to go back to work and be self-sufficient again. Hmm...I've heard voices and had mood problems since I was in 2nd-3rd grade and I never got "used to how life is now". Makes me think whats the point? and oh yes, one of my favorite movie quotes pops in my head. "...is this really as good as it gets?"
posted by themadhatter at 4:04 AM
3 Comments:
do u ever think of ect mabe it helps u out do ur dr ever says that ?
not on the formulary so they wont do it. state healthcare sucks like that
Smoke break!
I'm kidding, but what I like about you (and me) is our ability to find humor in otherwise uncomfortable situations. You're a strong woman, Candace.
It is always true when it's said:
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
xoxo ~Kris
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